The Last Flicker & Single Parenting

The Last Flicker of Enjoyment
Sometime in June/July, we decided to take time off to go to Bangalore both to escape the North Indian heat and also to have Appa, who was now confined to the house in his semi-paralytic state, meet his new grandson. It was a good holiday though very brief. I was doubly happy that I managed to take the baby over to Appa as that October, just a month before his 77th birthday, he passed away. I flew down with Adit for his cremation, which, for the first time in our family, we had in the electric crematorium. Our older relatives were a bit surprised when Kumar announced , after that day's ceremonies, that he was not performing all the 13 day rites, as per Hindu custom/rules as Appa himself did not believe in them. [As the elder son, it was he who would have to perform them]. I stayed on for a couple of days and then flew back.

The last few years seeing Appa mostly bedridden or in an armchair had saddened us. All his life, he had been such a vibrant active person that this situation did not seem right at all. Still, he had not lost his sense of humour and mischief, and had enjoyed the four grandchildren in Bangalore, Kumar's and Gokul's children then in their childhood or adolescence, his special favorite being Gautam, Kumar's son.
Before the end of the year, Ramu was transferred to Calcutta, first as Officer on Special Duty, an euphemism for shunting out a person for whom no appropriate posting could be immediately found?? Soon, however, he was appointed as Audit Member, Coal, with his office in Calcutta still. Though he soon had one of his favorite nephews, Vivek, for company in that place, sharing the same flat, he did not take to Calcutta even after months. The saying is that the city and its vibrant cultural life grow on one, and soon one becomes a confirmed Calcuttan?? Not Ramu! He persisted in his efforts to get back to Delhi, and in '75, he succeeded.
With him away for so long, it was very demanding for me in the evenings and early mornings - I had no help, as I tried rushing about getting ready or feeling tired. I had also to take Adit whenever I went on essential shopping. Gerry had presented a baby carrycot and I used to strap Adit into that and keep it next to me [nowadays, that would considered very unsafe, especially in the USA – it would be illegal there].